Cultivating children’s values is not an easy task. If you want to be successful, you have to set an example yourself and discuss values with your children regularly. Alternatively, values can be taught by engaging children in activities and challenges.

Set an Example for Your Children

Embody the values ​​to be passed on to children in daily life. Children often regard adults as role models, and the easiest way to cultivate values ​​is to imitate.

• If your words and actions are inconsistent, you will mislead your children.
• For example, if you want to teach your children cooperation and empathy, you can encourage them to share toys. If your children see you taking other people’s things without permission or not sharing resources with those in need, they will question the importance of those values.

Tell your children about your life as a child and summarize the gains and losses in the process of cultivating values.

• Make sure the story is true and don’t exaggerate the details.
• For example, try telling your child about a time when you tried to copy homework. If you resist the temptation to plagiarize, explain to your child why you did what you did and the positive impact of integrity. If you did not resist the temptation to plagiarize at the time, talk to your children about the negative internal and external consequences of plagiarism.

Teach core value systems. If your values come from a religious belief, teach your children about that belief. Let children understand how values are obtained so that they can understand the importance of values.

• It can be helpful to take your children to places that share the same value system, such as church. This can provide them with more moral models.

Understand who else influences your child. You cannot and should not completely protect your children from outside influences. But you should be aware of the outside influences your child has as he or she grows up, including the good and bad values others teach your child.

• Other influences on the child include relatives, teachers, coaches, friends, and relatives of friends.
• Understand the values of these people.
• You don’t have to completely avoid your child’s exposure to contrary values, but you do need to make sure afterward that the contrary values don’t hurt your child.

Create rules and develop a sense of responsibility. When a child violates or ignores the rules you set, appropriate punishment should be given.

• Punishment should be commensurate with the size of the offense. For example, taking the last piece of cake that belongs to someone else is not as serious as cheating on an exam, so the punishment for the former should be lighter than the latter.

Spend time with your children. If you ignore your children, they will never learn your values. Spending time with your children can show that caring for others is an important virtue, and it also allows your children to learn to care for others by following your example.

• Children often make mistakes to attract attention. If you can let them know that correct behavior also gets attention, they will be more willing to do the right thing.

Growing up is hard. Children will encounter many problems as they grow up, and mistakes are inevitable. Show your children unconditional love and they will be more willing to ask you for advice when they are confused.

Teach Children Values

Ask motivating questions. When teaching values, ask children relevant questions to get them to think about it. Don’t tell them directly. It would be more effective to let them draw their conclusions.

• For example, instead of saying, “He shouldn’t have lied to his friends,” ask, “Did you think he did something wrong?” or “What do you think he should have done?”
• Asking questions can spark a discussion about values. Encourage children to think carefully and they will remember it better after they draw their conclusions.

Listen and encourage your child to ask questions. Listen to your child’s confusion and questions. Stick to your values, but be open-minded. When a child asks a question, it shows that he has thought carefully about it.

• If your child questions the values you taught him, try to remain patient and calm. The angrier you get, the more rebellious your child becomes. Discussing calmly will make your child more receptive to your opinions.

You need to remain authoritative and use a natural and comfortable way of expressing yourself. Most people—especially children—are more receptive to information conveyed in a discussion than to one-sided preaching.

• When a child makes a mistake, explain concisely why it was wrong and give appropriate punishment. But don’t preach when you’re in a bad mood.
• Wait until you and your child have calmed down. Don’t always feel disappointed. You should explain your expectations to your child and tell him what you hope he will do in the future.

Values do need to be developed internally, but setting expectations and rules can provide some guidance. Set reasonable expectations and let your children know what you expect.

• Children are naturally eager to meet their parents’ expectations. If you explain to your children what you expect and what it means, they are likely to work hard to live up to your expectations.

The more you talk about values, the easier it is for your children to accept them. Frequent communication can constantly remind children not to forget.

• You should communicate more when your children are doing well. If you only educate your child when he makes a mistake, he may feel that it has a negative connotation.

Show love for your children. Tell your children you love them every day. When children feel confident that they are loved, they are more likely to understand your expectations and understand that the values you teach are for their good.

• Expressing love is very important. Even if you have been expressing love through actions, you cannot ignore verbal expressions.

Cultivate Children’s Values through Daily Activities

Values have been passed down through stories for centuries. Read books with your children or introduce them to books that convey the right values.

• Younger children can read fairy tales.
• Because children’s thinking is still in the formative stage, they should read books with clear boundaries between right and wrong.
• Books with unclear concepts of right and wrong should be reserved for children after they have established stable values.
• No matter what kind of book it is, you should read it yourself first to fully understand it before letting your children read it. This will allow you to understand the content of the book and make it easier to answer your children’s questions.

Limit the types of movies, TV shows, and games that children are exposed to. Limit the time your children spend using this type of entertainment media.

• Even if the content conveyed by the media is positive, it is not as effective as active learning. Hands-on learning is better than passive viewing.
• Make sure the media your children are exposed to represents positive values, especially if they are under seven or eight years old. Research shows that children who are exposed to this type of media are more respectful than children who watch violent movies and TV shows.
• However, when children reach the age where they can distinguish right from wrong, they should not be completely told to avoid negative content. It’s best to explain to your children why the behaviors and content in movies and TV shows are wrong, and you can’t let them watch it without explaining it.

Encourage children to participate in volunteer activities such as community service. It’s even better to volunteer with your kids.

• Volunteering fosters generosity, responsibility, and compassion.
• Taking the initiative to help the elderly neighbors is also a kind of volunteer activity. Encourage your children to mow a neighbor’s lawn or bring them homemade treats.

The most basic way to cultivate children’s values ​​is to arrange for them to do some work within their capabilities every day and every week. Be clear about your requirements and the rewards for completing tasks well and promptly.

• Working can help children realize the importance of responsibility and the benefits of hard work.

If your child is not interested in sports, there are other teams you can join, such as a debate team, yearbook writing team, or trivia team.

• This can cultivate children’s teamwork skills, as well as values such as focus, responsibility, and humility.

Sit down with your kids and make cards for friends and family. Includes thank you, holiday, and greeting cards.

• Thank you cards cultivate gratitude.
• Holiday cards and greeting cards cultivate love and kindness.
• Creativity can also be cultivated through handcrafting.

Encourage children to take on challenges. Challenges are inevitable in life. Cultivating children’s ability to cope with challenges (controllable challenges) when they are young can teach them the necessary morals and values, which will help them cope with uncontrollable challenges when they grow up.

• Gardening with your kids. Gardening is challenging and builds perseverance. If you grow edible grains, you can also develop self-sufficiency.
• Generally speaking, it is to encourage children to do things that are not easy. Encourage shy children to play with other children on the playground. Encourage children with bad tempers to learn to control their emotions. Reward your child after they conquer a challenge.

Encourage children to think about others. When this is learned, other values can be strengthened.

• When your children are young, you can look through magazines with them and ask them to identify the emotions of the characters in the pictures.
• No matter how old your child is, you can play “buddy games.” Write the names of everyone in your family on slips of paper and put them in the hat. Everyone draws a name in the morning, and whoever is drawn will do a good deed for that day.