From a psychoanalytic perspective, human emotional experience is contradictory. While there is hatred in the heart, one also longs for love. This is also what we often call a self-defense mechanism, that is, reverse formation. In other words, those who seem to be indifferent are actually longing for intimacy in their hearts; those who close themselves off also want to experience the feeling of being noticed.

Just like the substitute teacher in the movie “Transcendence”, he seems to be loving and calm on the outside, but deep down he has strong hatred and pain. The film mainly tells the story of Henry Bachert, a lonely substitute teacher who came to teach in a sloppy high school and saw the beautiful life and humanity in the world while getting along with the students.

In today’s article, I will talk about how we should deal with the weakness of the self and the hatred in relationships from a psychological perspective.

Life Is Full of Hardships, and Everyone Experiences Pain

Everyone will suffer, it is unavoidable, just to varying degrees.

The protagonist in the film, Henry Bachet himself, was a person who had experienced pain since childhood. At the same time, as an adult, he knew that it was difficult to completely rescue a person from the mental prison of a certain problem, so he chose to be a Professional substitute teacher do not have to shoulder too much responsibility to do things that felt futile.

Although the content of the film focuses on the educational issues of problem students, the frustration and powerlessness of teachers, as well as the inner pain of parents, students, teachers, and others are all reflected.

For example, teacher Sarah, who was often insulted by students and had become accustomed to it, became cold and numb inside; Meredith, who had been silently enduring all kinds of scolding and ridicule due to her weight, and was not understood by her parents, her heart is sensitive and has low self-esteem; the underage girl Erica has no family, lives on the street selling her body to make a living, and is often beaten and even abused, her heart is also painful; and the general manager The teacher who was doing relaxing exercises beside the barbed wire fence in the school playground felt confused and powerless inside…

From this “niche” in the film, we can see that everyone has suffered, as Henry and Meredith said: “We are all the same, we all suffer, and our lives are full of chaos.”

Self-Weakness Can Lead to Feelings of Self-Deception

When pain occurs in our hearts, we will develop our own weakness, that is, the feeling of “I am not good, I am not strong enough”. However, people are narcissistic, which makes us feel self-deceptive, because we will project our “badness” to the external world and become “you are not good”.

Just like those troubled teenagers in the movie, they obviously did not do well, but they attributed the responsibility to others (mostly teachers), and this is caused by the inability to face their own weaknesses. The black female student who was punished by the teacher, after asking her mother to help reason, still refused to forgive the teacher. When she left, she spit in the teacher’s face. She was using “power” to cover up the “weakness” in her heart.

It can be seen that to combat this feeling of weakness, some people act extremely strong, but this sense of self-strength is not real enough and can lead to a feeling of self-deception.

In addition, when a person is weak, he or she is prone to the following problems:

• Worried that if the external world becomes hostile, the weak self will not be able to resist it, and may even be destroyed;
• It causes severe feelings of shame at being so weak;
• Because there is severe shame and fear, the result is that a person is afraid to face himself;
• You cannot cooperate with powerful forces because this will arouse your sense of weakness;
• It is easy to have Mary’s disease and it is easy to give benefits to others to show that you are powerful.

Teacher Henry in the film never dared to face himself because of his inner fear, so he closed himself off. Meredith, who likes to take pictures, is the one who knows the truth because she sees that Henry’s happiness and calmness are all fake.

In short, it is difficult for people to truly understand and experience their sense of weakness, so they use “power” to create a feeling of self-deception.

Hate in Relationships Can Make Us Feel Completely Helpless

From the perspective of the self, the weakness of the self can give people a false sense of strength, and such a state can also be analyzed from the perspective of relationships, that is, in our relationships with others, if hatred dominates, It will produce a feeling of self-denial, thereby increasing the sense of self-weakness.

Just like the American soldier mentioned at the beginning of the article, in the war and the stolen wallet, the relationship he built with others was dominated by hatred, and in behaviors dominated by hatred, there is the possibility of destruction. Only if you are strong enough can you avoid being destroyed by the other party.

But when one becomes weak (because one cannot always be strong), a feeling of utter helplessness arises.

In the film, when Henry teaches those troubled teenagers for the first time, a boy insults Meredith and is kicked out of the classroom. Another black student uses a provocative tone to show that he is different and is subdued by him, and the reason why these students are accustomed to showing their strength by being “disobedient”, “making trouble” and other methods is because the relationships they establish with others are also dominated by hatred.

It can be seen that students hate their school, their parents, their teachers, and even the whole world, so they use the “reverse formation” defense mechanism to cover up their inner feelings of helplessness and shame.

See the Truth of Life Clearly and Live Your True Self

As mentioned earlier, our own weakness and hatred in relationships will make us live in a contradiction. On the one hand, we try our best to show our strength, but on the other hand, we feel extremely helpless inside. More importantly, we cannot overcome the pain in real life. So what should we do?

To answer this question, you can use the words of French thinker Romain Rolland: “There is only one true heroism in the world, and that is to still love life after recognizing the truth of life.”

Henry in the film, in the process of “loving life”, not only saves the troubled teenager but also works hard to redeem himself.

Respect your own weakness, that is nothing to be ashamed of.

• Henry has always kept himself closed, unwilling to reveal his feelings to outsiders because it is difficult for him to face his weakness.
• Self-frailty makes us feel “I have no power, I am weak, I am bad”, which can lead to feelings of shame. But everyone has a limit to what they can bear. Only by respecting your own weakness can you live your true self.
• When Henry and Erica told the reason why they cried on the bus that night, Erica understood that this seemingly calm and calm man in front of her also had unspeakable pain in her heart, and the relationship between the two became… Getting closer and closer, and this shows that “showing weakness” will not make others laugh, but will enhance mutual feelings.

Build love in relationships and allow passionate and creative life to come to the fore.

• If hate no longer dominates the relationship, love will emerge.
• Just like the female student Meredith in the film, because she received affirmation and praise from Henry, she felt love in the relationship. When she ran to the classroom, hoping that Henry would give her a loving hug, her inferiority and sensitivity were transformed into enthusiasm and creativity, and that was the extension of life.
• Unfortunately, Henry, who has not yet lived out his true self, is unable to give Meredith the love she needs, which indirectly leads to the tragedy, which makes Henry fall into a deep sense of helplessness again.
• This also shows that self-weakness and hatred in relationships are ordinary things that are difficult for us to face.

Recognize the truth of life and live your true self.

• No matter how difficult it is to live your life, it is still worth it.
• At the end of the film, Henry goes to visit Erica in a youth shelter. The big hug between the two after they meet allows us to see that this “suffering” world can still be full of love and hope.
• In my opinion, the adults in deep pain, represented by Henry, and the unfortunate teenager, represented by Erica, respect their frailty and establish a love-led relationship. Not only can they recognize The truth of life and be able to live out their true self.

Conclusion

Henry in the film has always blamed himself for his actions because he felt that he was powerless, especially the death of his student Meredith Dee, which made him fall into a deep sense of guilt.

However, in my opinion, he did not fail, because when he tried to save the young people of the “Beat” generation, he not only got salvation himself but also made some students realize that only their own consciousness and beliefs truly belong to them.

No matter what, don’t forget to open our arms. After opening up, we may be disappointed again, but we also have hope. If we keep it closed, there will be nothing.